Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Conspiracy Hygienist

For some dumb reason I've decided that it's a good idea to go to the dentist at 7 AM for my cleanings. Or at least that's what I've decided on my last 3 visits. I figure that way I'll be all done bright and early and still make it to work on time like the good, industrious employee that I am.

In reality, I go to bed the night before deeply fearful of how I'll feel when my alarm goes off. When 6 AM arrived this morning, I stumbled out of bed completely pissed at myself for booking this early appointment again, took a shower, and then tried to dress in the dark so as to not wake Dokken. I think my crashing into things and quiet cursing at not being able to find my pants was worse than my closet light would have been. Oops. Sorry, dear.

In any case, I made it to the dentist just before 7 and was even looking forward to it a little. I love my dentist. He's very nice, he's mostly bald except for a few wisps of hair that stick straight up and sway gently with whatever heat/cold is being piped into the room (and which give me something to look at while I'm in the chair), and the last time I came in for a cleaning, he actually did it. Not a hygienist, my dentist. And let me tell you it was by far the nicest, gentlest cleaning I've ever had.

This morning I had no such luck. I got a hygienist who the receptionist previously referred to as 'very...thorough' as if to apologize. Things were going fine until she mentioned that she'd watched the State of the Union address last night and I asked for her thoughts on it.

Suddenly, we took a left turn at Albuquerque. It started innocently enough, with us both questioning who's really in charge--Bush or Cheney--and moved on to a pop culture reference before she excitedly told me that she's learned from listening to a popular radio show who is truly in charge.

From there we moved on to airports built under the Denver airport which will eventually be used to control the world, disturbing artwork contained within the terminal of the Denver airport (the one above ground, that is), a conspiracy to kill scientists following 9/11, and we finally finished up with herbal supplements.

I have officially learned my lesson; don't talk religion or politics in polite conversation. This is especially true when the other person has sharp metal objects in your mouth.


Blogger pf said...

mentioning ABQ and the illuminati in one paragraph? i'm skeeved out, yo!

1:28 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home